A Letter To My Daughter

I don’t normally post stuff like this as my blog is a happy place, but this has been playing on my mind all morning and I feel I need to write it down somewhere.

To My Darling Girl

I’m sorry that yet again you haven’t been invited to the latest party that is being hosted by one of your school ‘friends,’ I know that you are sad and hurt and I desperately want you to feel better.

These girls aren’t true friends my love.  I know that you think they are when they want to share whatever treat you have in your lunchbox, when they want you to stick up for them in something, when they want to come on a family day out with us because we are going somewhere they would love to go and when they want your help, but they’re not.  They act like your friends so that they can get something from you.

I want you to understand that it is not your fault that these girls are not true friends to you, it is my fault.  You see I did something that one of the girls’ mothers didn’t like and so she has worked hard to ensure that I have been cut out of our circle of friends and in doing this it has meant that you have been cut out too.

Did I do something bad? No.  Two of my friends had a falling out and one of them thought that I would automatically take sides and stop talking to the other person.  I did the opposite, I didn’t take sides and I continued talking to both friends, so the first friend decided to stop talking to me. Once she stopped talking to me she went out of her way to invite the other friends in our group out for various social activities such as going for a coffee, but she made sure that I was not invited.  (She even went so far one day as to invite someone else out while I was talking to them – I wonder if she realises how much of a bully she looked that day?) So they all went out together and pushed me out of the group and because of this it has meant that you have been pushed out of your group of friends.

I am so sorry that this has happened to you, I would never want to see you sad. 

I haven’t told you about all of this because I know that you would worry.  You would get upset at the thought that I may be stood at the school gates on my own with nobody to talk to.  I want to reassure you about something.  These people were obviously not the friends I thought they were and I am not sad that the friendships have become nothing more than a polite ‘hello’ when we see each other.  I have plenty of other friends to talk to while I am waiting for you and your brother to come out of school.

I wish I could make everything better but I can’t.  All I can do is hold you while you cry and make you laugh so that you forget about it.

Focus on those people who are true friends my darling – the ones who come and knock for you to play out with them, the ones who face time you from their holiday because they miss you and want you to share in their holiday fun, the ones who make you pretty bracelets just because they know they are going to see you that evening and the ones who invite you to do something.  Write to the favourite bands of these friends to see if they will sign birthday cards for them, make them little pictures out of photos of the two of you, help them when they need it and cherish your time with them. These are the friends you want in your life, they will be there for years to come and will be the ones who you will make so many happy memories with.

As for the girls who only act like your friends, don’t treat them any differently.  Be polite and kind to them, play with them and enjoy your school days but don’t let them hurt you any more.

So dry your eyes my darling girl, I know it hurts now but it won’t feel like that by Monday I promise.

Lots of Love

Mummy

xxxx

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About Family Heights

Married to the love of my life and mum to two beautiful children. Blogging about all sorts of stuff that makes me happy. A Formula One fan and a self confessed Disney Addict!
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6 Responses to A Letter To My Daughter

  1. Oh wow Sam, you are making me vaklemp first thing in the morning! God bless your little one’s heart. Kids can be so cruel to one another and as her mama you are feeling her pain. I so hear you. My ten year old has had to deal with this and faces more then her share of bullies every day. Why are kids like this? it is heart wrenching. I love you suggestions for your daughter and her true friends! Great ideas! I hope you feel better getting this out on “paper” and that your daughter will soon learn to handle the bullies the way you do. Have a wonderful day!

    Suz

    • Oh Suz I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. My daughter is 10 too and they totally don’t need be dealing with spiteful bullies at this age. What really bugs me about this current party that she’s been excluded from is that she wrote to One Direction to see if they would sign a birthday card for the child whose party it is. It makes me want to cry that she cares so much about this child who doesn’t give a stuff if she tramples all over my daughter’s feelings. I hope your daughter is ok and that the bullies are keeping away from her. Maybe the girls could become ‘penpals’ via email? Sending lots of love to you and your daughter xx

      • Oh mu gosh Sam, Emily would love that! She received an iPod for her tenth birthday and has her own (highly monitored) email. She would love to be able to correspond with your daughter. It’s funny, but my husband’s family is originally from the UK and he has been researching his family tree for many years. He has recently been in touch with distant relatives in Cradley I believe and Emily has become very interested in her ancestry and such. To be able to “meet” your daughter and share how they are growing up would be such a hoot! Emily is in, but I would rather give you her email privately. If you would like to send me an email to me with your email addy then I can share it with Emily. Would that be okay? This is my blog’s email: maplemousemama@gmail.com

        I love that you daughter tried to get the signed 1D card, that is just too kind. Some kids do not deserve the friends they have… 😦

        Suz

      • LOL, I just saw your email addy on your About page. Is that the one that Emily can use? What is your daughter’s name Sam?

  2. ginandcornflakes2013 says:

    Oh this is heart breaking. People are so unkind and rediculous aren’t they. What a silly cow for taking it out on a child. A child. Just to get to you do they know how much they are hurting the innocent little girl?! Makes me angry, and it is often something I worry about for my little one. When I was small I was keft out of a lot if things because my friend’s Mum took a dislike to me. It hurt so much. But my mum was always there for me. My rock. And I swear that has what has made me (relatively) balanced today in terms of relationships. So hang in there. This too will pass and your LO will be the stronger for it. Stick with the good uns and don’t waste the time in those who don’t deserve it. Much love xx

    • Thank you for your kind words hun. I’m sorry to hear that you went through a similar thing as a child, life is so cruel and adults should know better than to treat children like this – it makes me so mad! She was sad for a while but already seems brighter, her brother has done a good job of making her laugh this evening bless him. Have a lovely evening x

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